Posted in Gracie's Glimmer, Poetry From A Woman Who Thinks Too Much

I Unwish The Wish…

My mind is clouded with thoughts
but none that I can speak.
The words have all been spoken and
thoughts disintegrate as I attempt
to form words that I could say.
My mind is burdened with memories
but I have no more sentences for you.
I wish I did.
My words will not make sense to you
as your’s make none to me,
we said everything that we could say
the silence is deafening
as we stare at the damn TV.
I wish…I wish…
I could just show you my heart
and that I could see yours
so that we could understand.
Then I remember how hard we
struggle with each other’s reality
and we don’t have a backup plan.
So I unwish the wish and
I write words that are my truth
over and over again.
Hoping my head will believe
the words that my soul writes.
Posted in Gracie's Glimmer, Poetry From A Woman Who Thinks Too Much

Lost

belive
Sometimes I get lost inside my own mind

My body becomes just a shell

I forget who I am and where I wanted to go

I know it’s awful for you to watch me

Trapped inside myself, my blackness is hell.

My mind and my heart feel empty

With echoes of the past all that I can hear

I don’t mean to leave you to sit alone

But sometimes I’m just not here.

I don’t know where I go, yet it feels familiar.

I close my eyes and I fall down into sleep

Waves of calm wash through my bones, my mind

There. Now I don’t have to decide, feel or think.

I know I’m broken, brain, soul and spirit

And there is no extra sticky glue

No modern pill or magic potion

That could bring me back,

Mended, to you.

If only I had known how sad

Together would turn out to be,

I would have walked away

And one of us would have been free.

by Jeanne Marie

Posted in Gracie's Glimmer, Poetry From A Woman Who Thinks Too Much

Self-Destruct

I ran into a summer life
I tried it on
I tasted it
I loved it
I lost it
and I ran back to snow.
Why I didn’t keep on
tasting
loving
finding
I’ll never know.
Fear grabbed the wheel
drove me quite mad.
Panic navigated, flying
through mountains
sliding across icy roads,
dumped me back here
freezing in the bitter snow.
Posted in Women Who Think to Much

Excerpts from my book, Women Who Think Too Much, A No Help AT ALL Handbook

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/287988

I am a face first, front sliding, full-fledged codependent.

Stop signs mean STOP but that translates to codependents as, “Go ahead, I double-dare you.”

If your lights dim, don’t think about it too much, just light a damn candle.

…live with an active alcoholic or addict and find inner peace; without Al-Anon.

…our painful past loses its devastating effect.

…plan vacations, instead of permanent departures.

Mommy is on special medication right now because she is just a little crazy.

A helpful therapist does not pressure you to leave your man, she does confuse your issues with hers, she lies to you, but she also trusts you with her cell phone number because you have managed to cross her boundary lines. That phone number could be a life saver, especially if you’re driving cross-country after an attempted escape back home (you ran to your dysfunctional family, who you are now running away from), while taking a new anti-anxiety drug which your therapist prescribed, hydroplaning during a torrential rainstorm, which doesn’t even count because you’re crying so hard that you can’t see the through the windshield anyway. It also doesn’t help that you can’t zip the jeans that were too big when you started the journey because you have already blown up from the side effects of your new wonder drug.
It would be comforting to have her direct phone number in case you end up halfway home and forget which direction you want to go in, home or home. If you get lost or finally crack up, mentally or automobilely, it would be nice to have a caring professional to help arrange your placement. “No she’s not crazy; she just needs her meds tweaked.”

…as soon as you learn the rules, he changes them.

I gave him my fifteen-year-old virginity. That very night, I told him he had to marry me now and he said okay. The next day, he dumped me for a thirteen-year-old, blonde haired beauty.

Don’t waste the Styrofoam cups.

Gratitude will allow you to forget most of his faults…

…so when she looks into a mirror she won’t see the woman she used to be.

Read the Reviews https://womenwhothinktoomuch.com/2015/10/03/book-reviews-women-who-think-too-much-4/

Book also available at:

Barnes & Noble
https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/women-who-think-too-much-jeanne-marie-jeanne-marie/1114769909?type=eBook

SCRIBD
https://www.scribd.com/book/211052933/Women-Who-Think-Too-Much

Rakuten kobo
https://www.kobo.com/us/en/ebook/women-who-think-too-much-1

and on your iphone or ipad reader

Posted in Gracie's Glimmer, Poetry From A Woman Who Thinks Too Much

Empty Spaces


Empty spaces
trying to put my life
back together again
but I’m missing
some of the pieces
completely lost them
yes, I do know when.
Empty spaces
jagged edges
used to fit so well
wounds do not heal
pictures once complete
or almost anyway
faces gone, oh hell.
Empty spaces
where dreams fell
through the cracks
lost, in total disarray
chaos rules
blood drips red
suffering with
silent sadness.
Empty spaces
buried hopes lay dead
shivering, icy cold
heart turned to stone
not a thought
left in my head.