The Affair

I went for a walk tonight and I knew.
I knew I should have stayed away from that place, our place, but I was drawn back by an invisible, physiological tug.
I was aching for you, longing to touch you.
The passion, the thrill, the afterglow. I wanted it all, just once more.
Of course, that’s a lie because once has never been enough.
When we meet, we do it, over and over again and that’s what I really want.
As I walked around the corner, you were there. Just waiting for me. All I had to do was ask, hold out my hand and be willing to pay the price.
I wanted to take you home with me for the night, just one night, so that’s what I did.
It’s been four days and we have been together many times. We show no signs of stopping.
We’re about to go at it again in a minute, just as soon as I catch my breath.
I can’t lie anymore.
I know we’re going to do it again. And again.
It’s been bitter, and it’s been rough, but I need your hot smoky haze, so I just don’t care.
Slow and easy, fast and hard and everything in-between, touching you makes me forget all my pain, for just a little while.
When I’m tasting you, touching you, holding you, nothing else matters to me.
We do it, over and over and over because even a thousand times could never be enough.
Despite the odds, my fears and my past failures, I promise myself…tomorrow I will try to let you go again.
I’ll live a quiet life, lonely, longing, remembering the good times.
I’ll forget the emotional security I felt when I touched you and I’ll forget the extreme danger that thrilled me. I’ll turn away from life on the Wild Side.
But how do I give you up my best friend? How can I allow the love of my life to just fade away, especially knowing that we could meet down at the corner, anytime I want you?
Not a thousand miles away, no just down the street, waiting for the touch of my fingers and the warmth of my lips.
Burning for your touch, begging you to ignite the fire, so empty without you in my hands, in my bed, in my mouth.
Pretending I don’t miss you and pretending I can give you up when I don’t even want to stop.
Every nerve in my body is screaming for you, forcing me to walk back down to the corner.
I think that lust is the most dangerous passion of all. My entire body yearns for you, the very scent of you gets me tingling, shaking, hot and sweaty.
As I remember the taste of you in my mouth, the anticipation triggers the need and I race to you, running, crying and shaking.
How do I let you go when I love you still? Even though all you do is hurt me, I still want you every minute of every day.
I swore never again, never again and here I am once more, sneaking around with you.
I go home and try to wash your musky scent from my mouth, scrub you off my skin.
Damn you, Marlboros, you’ll be the death of me yet.