Spirit Whispers 8

God is in the wind
whispering to me,
you’ll be coming home soon.
First, you must finish this life
this journey which your decisions
and my Grace have designed.
The twists and the turns
the heartaches and the tears
always have a reason.
You’ll see it all so clear
the day the angels come
to bring you home.
Home, where your mama
is waiting for you,
where the spring breezes
and the summer sun
are always in season.
You’ll run, sing, dance,
laugh, love and be loved.
I promise, your time
on earth will fly by.
The earth is not your home
you know that in your soul
and I’m sorry you must wait
but, you have roads to travel
miles your feet must yet walk.
Keep up the good fight child
you are making me so proud.
I’ll heal your brokenness
repair it with my love,
mend your wounded soul
turn your scars into flowers.
Your battles will be won
your war will be over
when you come home
when you lay your pain
down at my feet.
So, carry it just a little
further my gypsy child.
Don’t give up now
you have come so far.
Love, your Father

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When Angels Whisper…

What is she running from?

Everything. Chaos, drama, hate, confusion, connections, clutter, obligations, memories, betrayals, lost love, bad love, good love, wasted dreams, pain, wrinkles and old age.

Is that all?

Probably not. She’s a writer. I’m sure she could add to my list.

I heard her tell her four-year-old granddaughter that she moves so much because she is a gypsy.

Well, that sounds better than she’s a runner. And she just might be a gypsy,
but I think she’s confused and looking for home.

Doesn’t she know home is where you make it?

No, she keeps making a home and leaving. This time she left 95% of her belongings behind.
Stuff she’s held onto for fifteen moves.

Why?

She swore she’d never buy another house or let another person manipulate her life.
She wants to have the choice to drive away at a moment’s notice.
I heard her tell her daughter that’s why she bought the tiny house on wheels.

Well, who owns fifteen houses in six states in thirty-eight years anyway?
An extremely tired gypsy?

No, a hurt little girl, looking for her happy ending.

Well, she’s alone now. Is that her happy ending?

Yes and no. She’s happy to be able to think for herself, to make her own choices,
to be free, but she wanted to be happy with him.

Well, he made that impossible.

Yes, he did.

Well then, I’m proud of her for fighting to break free.

Me too.

Do you think she’ll be okay? Is she lonely? She looks so sad.

This has been a huge change for her, and I expected her to feel some sad,
but she’d rather be alone than allow anyone to hurt her again.
She realizes that her happy ending is in her own hands now, so yes. She’ll be okay.

I think you’re right. She’s recovering from emptying a ten-room house and watching
another chance she gave him go wrong. She’s resting, healing, physically and emotionally.

Yes, she got rid of everything, including her books. She let go of so many material things.
A little grief after such a purge is normal, but we’ll stay close to her
while she prays and figures out her next step.

Does she know we’re here with her?

Yes, I believe she does.

Spirit Whispers 7

 

Dear Jesus,
I have all the pieces; I know I do.
I’m trying to assemble this puzzle and I’m looking to you for guidance because I have never pieced together anything quite like this one before and I am definitely going to need your help.
I feel like a blind woman just feeling my way around the pieces that have been spread out on my table.
I am using my intuition and your promises to build this puzzle, praying and believing that our most amazing masterpiece of all will come together.
Amen.

Spirit Whispers 6

Dear Jesus,
I lift this ball of pain up to you. Please hold it for me. I am weary and you are strong. I know it is mine and I must deal with it, but please just hold it for a little while and let my soul rest.
I was praying this prayer last night because the pain all seemed more than I could bear, and I know I can’t bury it anymore.
I envisioned my hands lifting the orange, fiery ball of my pain up to him and him taking it from my hands.
Felt the rage and the pain in the ball like it was just happening, huge amount at first, tried to squeeze it back down, but couldn’t.
Chest pounding. adrenaline racing, anger sizzling.
Shocked at the depth of the feelings.
They were as strong as the night I tried to kill myself, thirty years ago, and then as he reached down to take the ball of pain, I felt what I can only describe as a wash of relief and happiness over my entire body. The kind of joy you only feel a few times in your life, like when your first baby is placed in your arms, but it was even stronger.
And I knew it was the Holy Spirit and I started to giggle out loud and smile.
He is holding my pain for me for right now, and I feel that he will give it back to me in pieces that I can handle.
I know I will heal now, and it is the first glimmer I have had of healing.

So, it has been a couple weeks since I prayed that prayer and lifted my pain up to Jesus. Last night, I realized that I was holding on to the ball of pain again, so I envisioned lifting the ball up to him, but this time I let it go much easier and instantly, my entire body relaxed and I felt relief and peace.
I have decided to let him keep it because I can’t let go if I’m still holding on.

Spirit Whispers 4

Hold still my child.
You’ve been running too much and you’ve been thinking too much.
Hold still. Just breathe.
What do you feel?
Do you feel me in the air you’re breathing?
Do you feel me in the soft breeze that’s kissing your face?
Do you hear me when the birds are singing to you?
Do you see me when the butterfly lands on your shoulder?
I’m all around you.
Hold still my child, feel my presence.

Jesus, all I know…

When the pain reaches a point
that I think I’ll explode if I let out one breath
what do I do?
Jesus, all I know is to give it to you.
When the pain builds up until
there is nothing else left
Jesus, all I know is to give it to you.

Spirit Whispers 3

 

PicsArt_04-25-01.08.16
I want what you want God.
That’s all I want in my life. Nothing else.
I want to write what you want me to write.
I want to breathe the air you want me to breathe.
I want to see you in my life everyday, in every way.
That’s all I want.
Lead me where I need to go, teach me to be who I need to be.
God, heal my broken heart and let me learn the lessons I am meant to learn.
I want what you want God.