Sometimes I get lost inside my own mind
My body becomes just a shell
I forget who I am and where I wanted to go
I know it’s awful for you to watch me
Trapped inside myself, my blackness is hell.
My mind and my heart feel empty
With echoes of the past all that I can hear
I don’t mean to leave you to sit alone
But sometimes I’m just not here.
I don’t know where I go, yet it feels familiar.
I close my eyes and I fall down into sleep
Waves of calm wash through my bones, my mind
There. Now I don’t have to decide, feel or think.
I know I was broken, brain, soul and spirit
And there is no extra sticky glue
No modern pill or magic potion
That could bring me back,
Mended, to you.
If only I had known how sad
Together would turn out to be,
After you cut open my heart,
I would have walked away
And one of us would have been free.
by Jeanne Marie