Tag: truth

Lost

belive
Sometimes I get lost inside my own mind

My body becomes just a shell

I forget who I am and where I wanted to go

I know it’s awful for you to watch me

Trapped inside myself, my blackness is hell.

My mind and my heart feel empty

With echoes of the past all that I can hear

I don’t mean to leave you to sit alone

But sometimes I’m just not here.

I don’t know where I go, yet it feels familiar.

I close my eyes and I fall down into sleep

Waves of calm wash through my bones, my mind

There. Now I don’t have to decide, feel or think.

I know I was broken, brain, soul and spirit

And there is no extra sticky glue

No modern pill or magic potion

That could bring me back,

Mended, to you.

If only I had known how sad

Together would turn out to be,

After you cut open my heart,

I would have walked away

And one of us would have been free.

by Jeanne Marie

living rooms

 

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Sitting in our living rooms

with wall to wall carpets

imported from China.

Nibbling fruit from Mexico

eating nuts from Brazil.

We watch our Sony TV

but switch off the news.

The world is too scary

movies are much better.

 

Mirror Image by Susanne Louise

Mirror images are what we’re made of and everything has a mirror image.
What we are and what we want to be is all a reflection of what we see…a shadow is just a distorted mirror image.
A shadow that is not reality.
It’s reality distorted to a reflection.
Life is a mixture of both these images.
Sometimes we look in a mirror and see shadows instead of the reality.
The mirror image determines which is real and which is distorted In the mind.
The crazy lost souls of our hopes and dreams control the mind, so how do we trust anything we see?

 

Time and Distance

 

story

I remember the pain I felt the first time I realized that my mom had grown older.
My heart broke that day, as I realized how frail the strongest woman in my life had become just since our last visit.
Today, at a newly turned 63, I fly to see my middle child, Jodie Lynne and she hasn’t seen me for two years.
I look good from 1800 miles away with the perfect lighting and a smart phone pose, but up close…
It will be the first time that she will realize that her mother is older. Much.
Human, not a super woman who can save the day…
Well, usually, I just mess up whom ever I’m trying to save, so that might be a good thing, LOL.
But she’s not going to like her mom’s newly acquired wrinkles.
It’s almost like the stamp of an expiration date upon my face and neck.
Not now, the wrinkles whisper, yet their very existence shouts out the reality that time is more valuable, limited.
My baby sister swears that I still look 17, so maybe Jodie Lynne will be wearing the same love shield.
I hope so, because no woman should ever have to watch her mom grow old.

P.S. We had an incredible visit. She kept telling me that I was “so little” but that’s another story.

I Don’t Believe You

Letting go of your hand

although you tell me

I cannot stand

unless you are by my side.

You mixed your lies…

truth, shaken and blended

to create a sweet disguise

under your mask I did not peek.

No, I will not behave.

No, I will not be quiet.

No, I will not be a slave

to lies I once believed.

Tell me this…

where is the woman

I used to know?

Where is she now

where did she go?

Trying to leave

you beg me to stay

weak in the head,

I must be, because

suitcases are unpacked

clothes are put away.

Breathing ain’t easy

when you’ve been

crushed by the muck.

Leaving is hard

but it’s the staying,

oh ya, it’s the staying

that sincerely sucks.