Hello, again!

Hello, my WordPress friends, it’s been a long time…
Catching up, in 2020, we moved to Vermont and bought my dream home. Two acres, no close neighbors, an old farmhouse surrounded by mountains and the gorgeous Connecticut River, flowing right across the street from my front door.
In the last five years, I have created gardens in every corner.
I became fully absorbed in nature and took great pleasure in being outside every possible moment, from early spring to late fall.
In the winters, I worked inside, renovating the full apartment upstairs, which was destined to be my writing space. My husband told me to do anything, and I went wild with the colors.
I created what I call my greatest visual masterpiece.
The apartment doubles as a guest area and when family visits, for even one night, they do not want to leave. The entire space has an atmosphere that wraps around you and makes you smile. I call it Alice’s Teahouse.
The first three years here were incredible. As time went on, I was shocked that for the first time in over forty years, I was content, and I didn’t want to move or run away.
Then, my life was forever changed.
On April 18, 2023, my 44-year-old son, Richard, ended his decade, long battle with drug addiction when he took an intentional overdose of fentanyl.
I have spent the last two years journaling and writing to my son and that is exactly what he would have wanted me to do. Beyond that, I don’t know any other way to survive or to heal besides trusting Jesus and writing it out.
I am so blessed that my son reminded me how much he loved me before he left. He had always read everything that I wrote, and he loved my writing. He encouraged me and he always thought that his mama was something special, from my sunflower sundresses to the way I thought, to the way I loved him. He said I was a perfect mama for a boy like him, and I never thought I was a perfect mama for anyone.
He was my wild, reckless, beautiful, genius son and our last two years together, as he tried to get sober, I was his ride or die angel. His words.
So, hello again, my WordPress friends. I’ve missed you.

7 thoughts on “Hello, again!”

    1. The words. There really are no words beyond the ones you just wrote, showing that you cared. Thank you.
      My son has been gone for two years this past April, and when my granddaughter’s father died this morning, all I could say was, I am so sorry. (And, when we are close to someone, I love you, and I’m here if you need to talk.)
      I have been writing every day since Rick died, looking for the words. My two year journal is up to 60,000 words and I’m not sure I will ever find the words.
      My sister lost her son 10 years ago and I remember struggling for words to comfort her. In the end, all I could do was love her, hug her and give her my time.
      When my son died, she could not find the words, even after going through it herself.
      Thank you so much for caring, and for taking the time to tell me.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

      1. Thank you so much for answering and for sharing. We don´t know each other but my heart is with you and you are fantastic who stands up and share your grief, love and loss and have the strenght to write. Sendfing my warmest hugs to you.

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply

  3. Oh my goodness, I am SO sorry for your loss. That is heartbreaking. I’ve no idea how one recovers from that; I don’t think I could (my boy is 25). But please: write. Write it all out. And yes, he absolutely wants you to do that. My condolences again, G in Australia 🙏🏼

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply