Coffee Pot

I will have to apologize to Coffee Pot this morning. I was really mean to him yesterday.
Mean? I threw him out the back door.
In my defense, Coffee Pot has been harassing me all week by telling me to run the clean cycle, every time I tried to make a cup of coffee.
A week of getting ready for a yard sale did me wrong and I have no patience.
I am hurting so bad, and all I can think of is coffee. I know coffee would make me feel better for a minute, and give me enough energy to finish putting the yard sale away.
So I start to make my coffee while my husband’s out watching the yard sale.
I push the button. The light comes on and it shuts off. It comes on and it shuts off. It comes on and it shuts off. I slam my fist down on the top of the machine, three times and three drops of brown water drip into my coffee cup. The blows hurt me more than CP.
CP has always been fussy and always wants to be cleaned, even though I clean him every week. We have a long history of delays and disappointments.
I am done. Out in the yard he goes.
I go looking for my spare coffee pot, and it appears my daughter took it with her after her last visit. I vaguely remember her saying, “The coffee pots in the hotels are dirty. I need a little coffee pot.”
I open the fridge to put the milk away and I am so happy when I see that my husband bought me iced coffee this morning. He saved the day.
When he comes in the house, he takes one look at me, wild hair, wild eyes and collapsed on the couch with iced coffee, and he starts dinner and then he closes the yard sale for me.
So, this morning.
My husband always has my coffee ready to just hit the button when I get up, and yes, I am spoiled. When I stumbled out this morning, he turns to where CP should be and he says, “Oh no, we don’t have a coffee pot.”
He decides to quiz me.
“Where is it now? What did it do?”
“Every time I pushed the button, the light would come on for one second and then shut off. I played that game for about 10 minutes and then, I banged and banged on the top of the coffee pot and three drips went into my cup.”
I have never hit my coffee pot before so don’t judge me.
“I don’t know where CP is now. Maybe on the porch, maybe in the yard, maybe in the trash. I threw him out the back door.”
Husband calmly goes out into the yard and gets CP, brings it in, wipes it down, and plugs it in. I can smell coffee brewing.
You know I have to ask and you know he waits for me to ask.
“What was wrong with it?”
“You have to check the plug, the plug was loose.”
“Oh my goodness! I feel so bad. I was going to use CP for target practice this afternoon!”
So, now I need to say sorry to CP. Maybe I’ll do a photo shoot with him later so he feels important again.
I think I need a second cup of coffee first.
“Honey?”
“Yep, wait a minute. I’m trying to get the oven to light.”
(Third new gas stove in six years.)
Well, on the plus side, I never would’ve been able to hit CP unless I was standing right in front of him. So, CP enjoyed a night under the moon and the stars for the first time in his life.
And, I just got my second cup of coffee. Life is good.