Caught In Myself

The girl inside the woman

Runs the show.

You ask me to stop her

But I can’t, not now.

She has too firm a hold

And her fears are too great,

Born of a painful reality

Her needs will not wait.

She needs so many things

No one could ever supply,

She demands my attention

When I try to set her aside.

Her ways are not healthy

Thus, she damages us both.

Yet, she is so strong

We are tragically betrothed.

Wed in our long ago pain

She won’t give me control,

But I’ll continue to fight her

Until she has to let go.

It’s to soon. I’ve just begun

To feel her emotions, her fears.

Just begun to process her pain

Buried, denied, for so many years.

Jeanne Marie, 1990