When Toilet Paper Was King

I thought I had experienced it all.
I lived through hunting for Cabbage Patch dolls, Strawberry Shortcake dolls and Transformers for my kids at Christmas. I had to drive around all day looking for Power Rangers and Alf for my youngest.
Star Wars, Tickle Me Elmo, Bumble Bee Transformers, special Lego sets and Furbies for the grandkids. Each decade has arrived with its own challenges. The ultimate goal was to put a smile on a child’s face.
I never dreamed that one day, I would be hunting for plain, white toilet paper.
At least we got to find out what is number one in people’s mind when they go into survivalist mode.
I had always thought that the survivalist supplies people hoarded would be guns and ammo.
I’d like a truck that wouldn’t be affected by an EMP. Coffee. Food. Coffee.
Honestly, if I had to pick between coffee and toilet paper, coffee would win butt down.
I could always get in the shower to wash the poo off because my shower is one step away from my toilet in this little RV, but there is no substitute for coffee and there are no cognitive skills without my morning coffee.
When I first moved into the RV, I bought Scott’s RV toilet paper for RV’s. It cost $6.00 for 6 rolls and it was quite a price shock after buying Wal-Mart toilet paper for years.
The manual said to get RV toilet paper so it wouldn’t clog my toilet tank, and guess what?
It clogged the heck out of it. You haven’t seen a poo mess until a man snakes the toilet inside of 2-foot bathroom.
I always had OCD and I was a clean freak until I got into my high-end middle years when I began to take medication which did not cure my OCD, but certainly toned it down.
If that weren’t the case, March 2020, would have pushed me right over the flipping edge because there’s no way to catch all these germs.
I have to say I’ve been wiping things down with bleach cloths my entire life.
My first houses, I deep cleaned every day but eventually, I managed to slow it down to once a week. Now, I’m praying I don’t take twenty steps back. I am already notorious in my family for overcleaning, and they are just starting to forget.
I do feel bad for the people who pick their nose in traffic. (We do see you, ya know.)
They could end up in a viral video because this social chastising is the new normal.
Talk about not touching your face, someone should have included…and don’t pick your nose.
Funny, my mother taught me to wash my hands before eating, after every activity, and to not pick my nose ever. EVER.
I guess not everybody had a good mother like mine.
In closing, may I suggest hiding brightly, colored rolls of toilet paper, instead of Easter eggs, this year?
Someday, when my great-grandchildren are grown, they will be telling their kids about the days when Toilet Paper Was King.

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