Legos and Laughter

I am completely content and happy in this moment, playing Legos with my grandson, Jonas, and my granddaughter, Mile Mae, on the playroom floor.
I’m feeling proud of Jonas for sharing half of his Legos with me and Mile, we just aren’t allowed to have weapons or figures, only blocks. (We all have our quirks.)
Later, I am watching them play in their little pool on my porch and squirting each other with squirt guns and blowing rainbow bubbles. Their laughter is so soothing, and the sounds stop time and erase my anxiety.
We go in, and I have to rescue Mile from the pink toy bucket she gets stuck in and I’m laughing so hard, I can barely pull her up.
As the sun goes down, I am watching her hanging upside down on the lawn chair, her long brown curls flowing to the floor. She is so pleased with herself and she makes me laugh inside and out. I would give anything to live in moments like these, every minute of everyday, but they are just that, moments.
At least I know how to absorb and treasure these moments now.
The only sad part for me is packing up her toys that she is taking home and she doesn’t know it’s sad, so that’s OK.
Mile is only four, and right now, she’s simply happy all her toys are going to her house
She really doesn’t understand about Grammy selling her house and moving to a house on wheels and going to live on the road.
Rolling is what they call it. I have a new language to learn.
And she won’t understand, not until she says, “Daddy, I wanna go to Grammy’s house,” and he says, “Grammy doesn’t live in her house anymore.”
It was already a hard choice, deciding whether to stay or to move on, getting rid of furniture and stuff, so much stuff, way too much stuff. Books, clothes, boots, sheets and bedspreads. Towels, dolls and pictures. CD’s, DVD’s, TV’s and furniture.
With all these awesome grandkids, it’s a triple hard choice. And Jodie Lynne…my sunshine, my daughter, my friend, I’ll miss you most of all.
After fifteen houses and six states, I just have a strong urge to leave the clutter behind, wander on my own and to see what I see each day, and to do whatever I want to do in the moment. Stop, go, eat, write, don’t stop, inhale sunshine, go to the beach, whatever.
I also never want to pack up another house and I can’t even promise myself that I’ll stay still, so a house on wheels is my solution.
I want days without people telling me I better do this, or I should do that…weeks where I only interact with my dog, Maggie Mae and God. And rest stops and sweet nights when I can indulge my creative streak.
Maybe I’ll last a month, maybe I’ll last ten years out there on my own.
I just don’t know, but I’ll never know if I don’t try.
If I’m supposed to hold still Lord, you need to show me that because I really have the urge to move on, but I’m not always right, that’s for sure.
Lord, I know I’m stubborn and hardheaded, but show me gently please, I’m already broken.
Amen.

24 thoughts on “Legos and Laughter”

  2. Wow! I’m sending you all the best on your move. I imagine it was a hard choice, and it sounds like you followed your heart best you can. I’d love to know how it goes.

    You’re doing a great job loving those kids, and if you’re not already love you too. ☺

    Blessings
    Debbie

    PS – nice to meet you!

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  7. you must always follow what your heart tells you to do. there is nothing that cannot be changed, and no reason each decision has to be forever. change as you need to instead of regretting. it will all fall into place as it is meant to. I recently sold my little cottage to move to a small condo, near the river, near the woods, a short walk to downtown, and still near family. what the move did was offer me freedom. I no longer have to devote time and money to my 100 year old cottage, paid off debt, got rid of many things, and moved me to a simpler life, moving toward retirement in a couple of years. very freeing and just what I needed. an amazing feeling. best to you on the next leg of your life’s adventure –

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  8. I always feel joy when I hear about kids playing with Legos. Legos are great toys, When you are born to be wild, you hit the road. Viva la vida loca can be challenging, but flexibility, and taking everything as simply part of the adventure goes a long way when you become a free spirit. If you keep in mind that everything you encounter on your journey, good and bad, is a wonderful story if you’ve lived to tell it.

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