Lost

Sometimes I get lost inside my own mind

My body becomes just a shell

I forget who I am and where I wanted to go

I know it’s awful for you to watch me

Trapped inside myself, my blackness is hell.

My mind and my heart feel empty

With echoes of the past all that I can hear

I don’t mean to leave you to sit alone

But sometimes I’m just not here.

I don’t know where I go, yet it feels familiar.

I close my eyes and I fall down into sleep

Waves of calm wash through my bones, my mind

There. Now I don’t have to decide, feel or think.

I know I was broken, brain, soul and spirit

And there is no extra sticky glue

No modern pill or magic potion

That could bring me back,

Mended, to you.

If only I had known how sad

Together would turn out to be,

After you cut open my heart,

I would have walked away

And one of us would have been free.

by Jeanne Marie