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Review by Jenn on Aug. 08, 2014 FIVE STARS
This book should be required reading as part of the high school curriculum. I made a couple of these “slips” early on, but thankfully avoided the worst of it thanks to some very strong and frank women in my life. However, I’ve had many friends who have had to learn the hard way–or never learned, and it’s heartbreaking to watch and so unnecessary.
Thank you, Jeanne, for the very straightforward advice and important reminder for all of us. Speaking of that, I think I need to go pad my “ILFU” fund…. ;-)
Review by Michael:
Just finished reading your book, Women Who Think Too Much.
Structurally, I found the book spot on. That’s a compliment to both your writing and your editors. The reading flowed very smoothly.
Content-wise, it was incredibly poignant.
It was heart wrenching to think you went through all that, and to think so many others live like that. I truly was not aware of the intricacies of what goes on behind closed doors in those types of relationships.
I confess that I know of no woman in my circle of friends who lives in those conditions today. I’m not sure if that’s a credit to my choice in friends or the strength and kindness of the people I know.
However, a long time ago (my senior year in high school), I dated a young lady fresh out of a bad relationship that, I can only guess (through rumors at the time), was a lot like what she described.
We dated for almost a year when she abruptly broke it off. After repeatedly asking her why, she reluctantly told me she was going back to her previous boyfriend. From what I knew of her old relationship with this guy, I knew it was very abusive.
I chanced upon her several months after our breakup. When I approached her, she was trying to conceal her black eye behind dark sunglasses. But she assured me she was doing fine.
Years later we met again. She had finally called it quits with him, but not before having two of his children.
So, in an indirect and very personal way, I was exposed to codependency and its abuse.
It truly breaks my heart to hear of situations like this, what you write about. It’s horrific. But I know there are men out there who behave like that. And the cost to women (and the children) is incalculable.
I will never understand how we humans can be so cruel to one another.
You have done a great job with this book. It’s a needed eye-opener, I guess not only just for women, but certainly (and especially) for us men as well.
Jeanne Marie —
You are an incredibly strong woman. I know the past was difficult, hard, unbearable and about twenty other adjectives, but that’s your past now. You’re in a much better place today.
Thank you for opening my eyes to this subject. And for inviting me into your life, if just from a spectator’s seat.
Ex Animo http://theiamblog.wordpress.com/
Review From Anonymous Survivor: Jeanne, just finished your book. Wow. I lived that life for too many years. I’m still processing what it felt like to go back in time with the words you wrote. I have tried to track my tormentor/ex-husband for all these years and never found him. I have always looked over my shoulder, afraid he would find me first. About a month ago I found his obituary. I never thought I could be relieved by a person’s death. I was, and am. I hope your book acts as a reality check and motivator for women in the thick of codependency. I think this is a much needed book. Should be in every women’s shelter across the country.
Review By S K Nicholls:
This month is National Domestic Violence Awareness month and I am reading a few books this month that focus on this troubling issue in different ways. Today I am giving a book review on one of these.
Jeanne Marie taunts her book as “A No Help At All Handbook” and it is with this degree of sarcasm that she presents her case. Domestic violence is a very serious issue affecting more people in America than the statistics can begin to show. Jeanne Marie does an excellent job aiding women to identify themselves as being in a dysfunctional relationship and what to do (or not to do) about it with her “Twelve Slips”, a spoof off of the Twelve Steps programs. While the small book with big ideas uses a rather comical approach to getting women to loosen up and look seriously at their own behaviors, as well as the behaviors of others, the highly qualified author also emphasizes the importance of recognizing where you may be going wrong and where you can go right. I would highly recommend this book to anyone who even suspects that they might be in a dysfunctional relationship. Even if you are not, you will be entertained, and maybe learn something you can use to help another individual less fortunate. It is both moving and inspirational. It is a brief book, an easy read, and quite affordable as it is FREE right now at smashwords. Download and read a copy today. This is easily a five star book. I’ll make it real simple for you: Click right here: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/287988
S K Nicholls http://redclayandroses1.wordpress.com/2013/10/14/book-review-women-who-think-too-much-by-jeanne-marie/comment-page-1/#comment-1983
Review by Ishaiya
Wonderful! Downloaded. Thank you, Jeanne-Marie. I love your writing style, it’s beautifully poetic, thought inspiring and moving. You have a wonderful sense of humor too! I shall be sure to spread the word. Have a great week!
Review By Eleanor:
This book throws a funny bone at the heart of dysfunctional relationships and hits you right between the eyes.
Dark humor drives this soul-bearing and sobering narrative, but Jeanne Marie lets it fly without losing the gravity of her subject. Beneath the often laugh-out-loud comedy, Marie’s honesty and vulnerability entice you to notice jarringly familiar experiences that exist in your own life. Her words echo unforgettably, resonating into your everyday life, making it impossible to ignore the empowering mirror she has created for anyone who has ever been… is currently… or wants to be… in a relationship.
It amazes me that such a short and fun book is powerful enough to change your life. A must-read for everyone, particularly women and teens!
Review By Maggie Thom:
“Wow. I don’t know where to even start with this but I can tell you that although it is a tough read, it is a must. Women Who Think Too Much is raw and will punch you in the solar plexus. When I started reading it, no I hadn’t read the blurb about it, I thought it was going to talk about how women are so hard on themselves. Which it did, sort of but it’s really one woman’s journey through co-dependency and abuse and her wish to wake up other women who might be living this kind of life or headed for it.
Jeanne Marie shares her journey through co-dependency and abuse but she does it in a unique way, she calls it the 12 slip step to co-dependency, where she uses dark humor for a dark subject. I think that if she’d just shared her journey, I would have felt awful for her but I don’t think I’d have looked at my life quite so closely. It’s interesting because she talks a lot about all the ways and things she did to avoid looking at her own life for a long time. I think it is brilliantly written. It’s only about sixty pages but it is by no means a quick read.
Try catching your breath after you’ve read it because you won’t while you’re reading it. It’s the elephant in the room that no one talks about, no one shares. I guarantee this book will wake you up like none other. Or at least it should.”
Maggie Thom’s Books! https://www.smashwords.com/books/search?query=maggie+thom
“Those damn rose-colored glasses can create such a shady false light that we don’t even recognize the blindfold covering the eyes on the image staring back at us in the mirror. Your book, Women Who Think Too Much, shines a bright light of humor on serious issues. In all that laughter is the courage to put fear where it belongs. Instead of staying afraid to take off the rose-colored glasses, the impulse to keep them on becomes terrifying. (Your mom’s poem is evidence that her sense of humor was a guiding force to a way out of the dysfunctional cycle.)
I’ve read your book…more than once. Instead of congratulatory gratitude (which you absolutely deserve), Jeanne Marie, I give you a big, brave and hearty HEE HA HA YEEHAH! as I stomp my own pair of rose-colored glasses.”
http://wordpress.com/#!/read/blog/id/19456464/ Artist and Publisher of the Wildersoul Colouring Book wrote:
“I like the ‘how not to’ approach, which has a humorous angle, and yet it touches so very deeply.”
Re-blogged on Mm172001’s Blog http://wordpress.com/#!/read/blog/id/13831966/
She wrote: “Already downloaded the book and read it! It’s a great read, informative with humor. Highly recommend it and best part it’s only $1.99!
To Jeanne Marie, “I thought it was great. It took a topic that has been traditionally addressed as you are doing this wrong and this and this and you need to do this. The form in which you wrote your book gave most of the same information but in a humorous way that is less authoritarian but still has the insight.”
Review by: Joyce on April 25, 2013 : FIVE STAR
A must-read for women with Borderline Personality Disorder. Many of us have co-dependency issues. Maybe you can recognize yourself in this book and get the help you need. If you have no sense of your own identity, you need to find out who you are. Jeanne Marie helps you become aware, through her humor, what you’re lacking to become your own person, worthy of not needing someone who controls you.
Review by: Richard on Feb. 23, 2013 : FIVE STAR
I had bought this book for my fiancée, but we ended up reading it together. I really enjoyed it, I laughed out loud.. a lot. Winced in pain like when you hit your knee a few times, I mean I am a man and I am guilty of a lot of the same things in this book…like this one “Classic”!
“Why are the lights on in here? Do you want me to shut them off for you?
Why aren’t there any lights on in here? It’s so dark in here.”
All in all, I just wanted to say it was good to see how a man’s behavior can affect a woman, and after reading this book, I think I can try a little harder to be more considerate.
Review by: Dan on Feb. 23, 2013 FIVE STAR
Take your time when you read through this…then read it again.
A fan of cinema verite? Good thing. Hang on. Jeanne Marie compels you to look in to the mirror and ask yourself if you recognize this wounded gender.
This is not simply a woman’s cautionary tale.
Pull your son away from “Call of Duty”, put a porn blocker on his computer and force him to listen to her story.
Review by: Cherie on Feb 22, 2013 : FIVE STAR
A must read for women of all ages…timely and also timeless lessons for women from every walk of life..it will touch you in ways that you never dreamed of and may even (hopefully) alter the course of your life..and ladies..it’s NEVER too late!
Review by: Jerry on Feb. 21, 2013 : FIVE STAR
This book was excellent. It Really opens your eyes and makes you look at your own relationships. Helped me a lot..
Fantastic writer, check it out!
Originally posted on Misifusa's Blog:
We’re all just walking each other home. ~ Ram Dass
I saw this on FB yesterday and I just loved it. What an intriguing answer to the question of ‘what are we doing here?’ and such a lovely photo of an autumn path. It called to me so I thought I’d share it with you as well.
Doesn’t Ram Dass’ quote make it all simple? And it really is when we strip away all the nonsense that keeps us up at night. Imagine if you could take all the people in your life and just see them as folks who are just walking home with you. Wouldn’t you be able to let go of all that annoys you and just allow love for all? So why not take this moment and do just that?!
We are all just walking as well as we can on this path of life. We…
View original 106 more words
by Jeanne Marie
I dreamt of the farm-house again last night.
When I saw the numbers match the numbers on the ticket in my hand at the end of the 10:00 o’clock news, when I learned that I’d won the lottery, before I even had the money in my hand, I threw my cigarettes, a tooth-brush and my Master Card into my purse. I ran out to the driveway, tore open the door of my blindingly yellow Dodge Hemi truck, turned the key, felt the thunder as the engine roared to life and flew out of the driveway.
I sped to the Tulsa airport, disregarding the speed limit because I was rich now. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t thinking that money made me above the law, but I could definitely afford to pay a speeding ticket.
I parked the truck in the long-term parking lot, ran inside the terminal to the first counter I saw and walked away with a ticket for American Airlines Flight 144 to Boston. After a take-forever walk through security, I raced down the chintzy red carpet, catching the flight attendant’s attention just before he shut the door.
I was going home. My husband always told me that it wasn’t home anymore, that home was where we lived, in our 1986 trailer home set on two acres of Heaven in Owasso, Oklahoma.
I always said, “You’re right, honey.”
But he wasn’t.
As the many plaques will tell you, home is where your heart is and I had left mine on the cold, wet sand of Plum Island, nesting in the sand dunes I had crawled on before I could walk and then when I was older, I’d left more of me on the hot, sandy beaches of Hampton and Salisbury. The last pieces I can remember seeing were hidden in the tunnels behind the walls of the farm-house, the tunnels where I had hidden my baby sister, playing quietly with her on the dusty floor so dad wouldn’t find us or hiding with Mom when the bill collectors pounded on our door.
When the wheels came down as we flew over the water of Revere Beach, I held my breath. I didn’t breathe again until the plane’s wheels touched the runway. As the familiar seat belt ding sounded, everyone rushed to their feet. I grabbed my purse and I pushed along with the crowd of people who also wanted off the plane, now. I headed straight for the Avis counter and rented a luxury car with no idea of where I wanted to go or why I had flown eighteen hundred miles on the very day the lottery had blessed (or cursed) my life. All I knew for sure was that I was going to kidnap my Mom out of the nursing home and she was coming with me for one wild ride.
The car almost drove it self as I left the Avis parking lot. I think that the auto pilot of my soul was driving. I sped along Route 93 with my feet driving and my heart dancing. Suddenly, I knew where I was going! My urges were taking me back to the farm-house on High Street, to the house that my dad had bought for $8,000.00 only to give it back to the bank several years later.
So many times, I had dreamed of that familiar front door opening to me. The present owner would throw open the solid white, wooden door with red trim, welcoming me home. The dream varied, probably depending on what I ate before I fell asleep. Sometimes a woman, sometimes a man, but the answerer always allowed me to wander down the hallowed halls of my dysfunctional, childhood home. Well, one of many, but the first real house with walls, doors and a roof the rain didn’t ping off. The farm-house that I’d been forced to leave behind when I was still a girl.
In my memories, the curtains that my mom had sewn on her push pedal Singer sewing machine still hung in the living room windows. I remembered the day she’d made them. I remembered the scent of the hot, damp cotton as she’d ironed each panel and hung it. I remembered the look of pride on her face as she stood back and smiled at what she had created.
I’d left a shard of me behind when I’d left that farm-house while taking a fragment from the walls. A sharp; yet, comforting splinter and it was still tucked away safely inside my heart’s vault. A splinter that led me home, if only in my dreams, over and over. Somehow the wood and the mortar had become entwined with my soul, an intrinsic puzzle I could not solve. Finally, I could buy that now declared historic house, no matter the cost. Panic pulsed through my veins and I asked myself, what am I doing? Did I think that I could move back to the farm-house and did I think that I could start my life over again? I guess so because I had dreams when my mind went back there, so I figured my body could too.
If I went back to there, could I go back to then and start my life over and change my now? Could I hide in the secret tunnels and let time remove the stains and the hurts I had gathered in the years since I had left? These were the questions searing my brain as I drove toward Billerica, doing forty miles over the speed limit.
I had to buy the farm-house before I went to get Mom. Money could bring my mom back to her house, the house she’d lost so long ago.
I dreamt of the farm-house again last night.
Jeanne Marie, 2010
Michelle Marie, as I gazed at the stars a little while ago, I felt a connection I did not understand. Now, I know it was my friends’ hearts, their eyes star gazing too. Love you…
Sweet Belinda as I gazed at the stars a little while ago, I felt a connection I did not understand. Now, I know it was my friends’ hearts, their eyes star gazing too. Love you…
Originally posted on Busy Mind Thinking:
I’m looking at the stars
Because you said you would be too
It brings us a little closer
Oh what a heavenly view
The crispness of the night air
Cannot make me cold
My friend I’m reaching up and out
Gently, your heart I’ll hold
Go ahead, make a wish
And I will make one too
Time be still just long enough
That I may gift a hug to you
Michelle Marie, your writing always touches my heart…JM
Originally posted on Tell Me About It!:
If you were a tear in my eye
I would never cry for
fear of losing you…
But if I could be your tears
I would be born in your eye
Live on your cheek
Die at your lips
If You were a tear in my eye
I would never cry for fear of losing you…MichelleMarie
I was thinking about you!